JOKES
An old farmer has about 200 hens, but no
rooster. He wants chicks, so he
goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he
will sell.
The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've
got this neat rooster named Kenny. He'll
service every chicken you got, no problem.
Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'll
be worth it. So the old farmer buys Kenny, takes him home and sets him
down in the barnyard, first giving the rooster a pep talk: "I want you to
pace yourself now, Kenny. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and
you cost me a lot of money ... consequently, I'll need you to do a good job.
So, take your time and have some fun."
Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and
Kenny takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the
hen house three or four times!
The farmer is shocked. After this the farmer hears a commotion in the duck
pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there.
Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once
again, WHAM! He gets all the geese.
farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last
24 hours.
Sure enough, the farmer awakens the next morning only to find Kenny flat on
his back, feet in the air, stone still in the middle of the yard. Vultures
are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal,
shakes his head and says, " Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I
tried
to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself!"
"Shhh, they're getting closer."
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and
sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't
serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be
served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully,
"We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to
eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve
beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes
back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
You're gonna love this.......
The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate"